WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THE CHURCH WEDDING?

Over the last ten years I’ve noticed a trend away from young couples marrying in a church. For example, of all the marriages that I’ve performed in the last decade, only one out of four took place in a church sanctuary. All others were held in a park, a hotel or some other religiously neutral site, usually one that is geographically close to a reception hall, allowing guests to move from ceremony to party without having to travel.

Clearly, there’s nothing inherently wrong with this. After all, I’ve performed some gloriously beautiful and spiritually rich ceremonies in extra-church settings, but lately I’m beginning to wonder if I might be missing something. Does this trend represent yet another evidence of a creeping secularization? Are many brides and grooms-to-be now so detached from a vital faith life that marriage in “the house of God” means little or nothing to them?

I fear so.

As I prepare couples for marriage nowadays I frequently have to remind them of something that was once common understanding…marriage is a sacred covenant created and ordained by the Lord. As such, processing down the aisle to a Paul Anka oldie just doesn’t cut it. I also have to insist that at least two Bible readings be included in the ceremony since most couples have never even considered this possibility. Am I angry or bitter about this? Definitely not, but I am deeply grieved.

You might be wondering, if many couples are so secularized, why do they select a minister to perform the ceremony? Why not a Justice of the Peace? Maybe it’s because they’ve known me for a long time. Or maybe they’ve attended a wedding I’ve done, and liked it. Or maybe…and I hope this is the case…it’s because they retain a glimmer of understanding that marriage is more than just a civil union of two people who love each other. Therefore, a man shall leave his parents and unite with his wife, and the two shall become one flesh (Genesis 2:24). Marriage, as originally designed by God, is a sacred institution.

For nearly forty years now I’ve been declaring, I now pronounce you husband and wife and the weightiness of this declaration has never left me. Every time the words roll off my tongue my eyes well up and my heart skips a beat because I consider myself to be the earthly spokesperson of God’s divine sanction, a joy and a fright at one and the same time. At that moment I only wish that every couple were able to see what I perceive.

Love and blessings,

David